You've Done All You Can, So Just Go With The Flow

A common theme across most bloggers is this feeling that we should all be doing better than what we are actually doing. So at what point do we say enough is enough? When can we just sit back and admire the fruits of our labour? Maybe never. 

I always talk about SEO and marketing and those things are something we have to keep on top of and monitor frequently, but the trouble is, we end up doing nothing but that. We work continuously hard on our posts, our optimisation and our promotion purely because we never see instant results. We keep pushing as hard as we can but whilst we're pushing, we miss the tiny progress we are making. 

Seeing the results of your blog, both in followers and in your analytics takes a lot of time and patience. Set up blocks of time, this could be a day, a few days or even a week where you focus solely on your SEO, come up with that months promotion schedule and marketing plans. I like to do this at the beginning of every month, I usually spend a day purely on updating and optimising my social media, a day working on my SEO and analytics and two days coming up with a content schedule, a promotional plan and updating my progress reports (I like to use excel to keep track of followers, traffic, post likes etc). 

Once you've worked you butt off for a few days, relax and let your hard work run its course. By all means, keep an eye on how things are going, do a quick check to make sure there's no major faults and do general maintenance whenever you have a spare second. Then, when the next month rolls around, you can have a look and see wether last months work has had any effect. If you find your stats have gone down, have a look into why that might be and rectify it. If your stats have increased, take a look at what areas haven't done as well as others and tweak them slightly to give them a little boost. 

If you take a look at your analytics and followers and find that nothing has changed, leave them be and check back the following month. It might be a case that your hard work needs a little more time to develop. 

It's so important, especially if you're trying to balance a blog with a full-time job, that you don't burn out. You don't want to get so caught up in stats that blogging becomes a stress rather than a release. 

In March's newsletter, I'll be including a FREE content audit sheet to help you keep track of which content is doing well and which subjects you should focus on more. A content audit sheet is a great way to start off your blog reporting, especially if you only have time to focus on one area every month. It'll be released at the end of March with a few handy tips to get you started. 

Strip Down Sunday: Dealing With Creative Inadequacy

As I sit here, in my fleecy penguin pyjama bottoms and Pink Floyd t-shirt, I am filled with a sense of creative inadequacy. I've just been having a lazy Sunday read through my Bloglovin feed and I did the thing bloggers should never do, I started to compare myself with others. A voice that says my content just isn't up to par, or as amazing as it should be, has made it's way inside my brain and is basically sitting in a comfy arm chair grilling me about how I can't come up with unique ideas (in my brain it's also smoking a cigar in a red velvet smoking jacket). 

I found a good 3-4 posts on my feed that were around topics I've covered in the past couple of weeks or have scheduled ready to go live, and every single one was more detailed, had a friendlier tone and was easier to understand than what I've written. So yeh, today's one of those days where I'm beating myself up a bit, we all have them right?

All my posts are scheduled about 2-3 weeks in advance of them going live, which on the one hand is great for organisation purposes, but it also means I have time to doubt my work. So what do I do? Do I delete all the work I've done and go back to the drawing board? No! I stop that tiny voice in my brain (it's also the same voice that tells me to eat a whole jar of Nutella with a spoon) and I think about what I have achieved and where I am in my blogging career. 

I'm having to remind myself that the amazing blogs I follow have been writing their content for years and have all gone through those first blogging bumps. The beginning of this year I completely changed my blogs focus, and although I kept my old blog and re-branded, I have to remember that this is technically a new blog and I'm very much starting from scratch. 

Since changing my focus I've had such a positive response from you guys and everyone has been so supportive. I've always been pretty hard on myself when it comes to my own creativity and with this new content, I'm still finding my feet and figuring things out.

Changing focus has changed my view on success and what I want from my blog, before I thought it was about how many people clicked the follow button, but now I get so much more joy out of people saving or simply liking my posts. I get so excited when I see people have commented and I've noticed a huge difference in how people engage with my content and I love that! 

So yes, we bloggers may preach that you should never compare yourselves to others, but sometimes human nature takes over and we have to take a step back (or in my case have a hot chocolate... I wonder if I have some Nutella?) so thank you to everyone who has supported me so far and I look forward to you guys reading the content I've got lined up!

Cat x

Let's Talk Anxiety

This week I decided to go ahead and film a video all about my experience with anxiety and my personal anxiety disorder. More and more bloggers and YouTubers are talking about their own anxiety issues, writing posts and filming videos to help others know they're not alone. Anxiety is becoming more and more common, more information is being circulated and the topic is becoming less taboo in society, which is fantastic! 

In this video I talk about how anxiety effects me and my experience with the medical help that is apparently out there for us. I have to say I haven't had many positive encounters with doctors and nurses regarding my anxiety, for years I've been told that I'll grow out of it and the only person who can make me better is me.  It was definitely not what 13 year old me wanted to hear at the time.

I think it's important to realise that there are thousands of symptoms caused by anxiety, dizziness, feeling faint, heart palpitations, tight chest and shortness of breath, claustrophobia and many many more. In my experience I have had agoraphobia, claustrophobia, depression, random heart palpitations and most commonly tight chest and shortness of breath. Being outside away from the safety of my own home can make me extremely anxious, mostly it is the fear that I'll have a panic attack in a public place and how embarrassing it would be to pass out in the middle of Topshop. People think I'm anti-social and boring, I frequently get called old (I am a few years older than my friends at uni) but the truth is that it's not that I don't want to go out and mingle with people, it's that I don't feel like I can. 

But enough with the 'oh woe is me' talk, I've had it for long enough to have built up a strong resentment towards anxiety. This might sound like a bad thing, but it gives me the motivation and drive to do whatever I can to kick its ass! Because I get so frustrated at always feeling trapped and panicky, I have developed techniques and sourced out tools to help combat the attacks. 

Don't get me wrong I am by no means the Batman of the anxiety world, fighting off evil panic attacks with my super breathing technique powers. Sometimes I do get defeated, I feel hopeless that there may be nothing I can do to prevent an on coming panic attack.  One of the most helpful tools I use is a simple yoga breathing technique. Breath in through your nose for four counts, then out through the mouth for four counts. Focusing on your breathing will occupy your mind and get the oxygen circulating around your body, effectively calming you down. Another technique that I use is meditation. I had tried meditation many years ago and actually got fairly good at it, but I got a bit lazy and kept forgetting to do it. Now through the magic of smartphones and their handy apps, not to mention the wisdom of the YouTuber Tanya Burr, I have discovered Calm. Calm is a meditation website and app, it gives you a whole host of music and sounds to meditate from and allows you to set a time limit for your meditation. You can also choose to have a lovely lady guide you through if you need a little help focusing. 

The one thing to remember if you are suffering from anxiety is that it isn't your life; it's a part of your life. Don't let your anxiety define who you are as a person, no matter how hard it might be. I also need to remember this sometimes. When you feel anxious or depressed it does feel like there is nothing else to focus on. The key is to take one day at a time, deal with the bad as it comes, but remember that tomorrow is a brand new day and no day is ever the same. 

 (p.s. If you want to talk about your experiences you can leave a comment down below or you can tweet me @lilacghosts1990 or message me on tumblr)

23 Things I've Learned In 23 Years

 

It was my birthday on the 15th and I thought I'd do a birthday themed post. So here I shall share all the wisdom I have learned over my 23 years on this planet. 

1. Don't butter bread before putting it in the toaster.
2. If an adult or sibling tells you not to do something because you will hurt yourself, don't do it.
3. Money needs to be managed, who knew?
4. Patience seriously is a virtue, one that I do not possess.
5. Remembering to feed yourself once you've moved away from home can be surprisingly difficult.
6. Food is expensive!
7. Don't do something your not comfortable with just because everyone else is doing it.
8. Never be ashamed of the the things you enjoy/are passionate about, that means music, films, art anything. There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure, never feel guilty. 
9. Never go into a city centre if you don't have to after the 5th November. That's how sane normal people turn into crazy stressed out murderers.
10. Eat healthily, you'll feel sooooooo much better. 
11. Exercise is a complete ball ache, but is totally worth it. Unfortunately.
12. Not wanting to go out and get as drunk as possible is ok, put your comfy pants on, make yourself a cuppa and watch Downton Abbey.
13. If friends make you feel worthless or like an outsider, find new friends. 
14. Grammar and punctuation are overly complicated. 
15. Be open minded when it comes to music, take time to listen to something you have never listened to before, it opens a lot of doors. 
16. Appreciate a nice view.
17. Don't put foil in the microwave.
18. Foxes bark, they sound like they're screaming. That's what the fox says. 
19. Buy Christmas presents in the January sales.
20. Take as many photos as physically possible. 
21. Move away from home, far away at least once. The amount of independence and knowledge you gain about life is unbelievable when you live away from your family.
22. It's ok to not know what you want to do with the rest of your life, it's more interesting that way. 
23. Always try on clothes you think would never suit you or you don't really like, you usually find the nicest clothes that way.

What key life lessons have you learned? Have you got anymore to add to the list?

My First Time TAG

(Image sourced from Google - Edited by me)

It's strange how three completely innocent words can sound slightly sexual. But no this is not what you immediately think of when you read it, as I know a lot of bloggers have been quick to point out. This is just a fun and harmless little TAG allowing you all to know even more about me. So let's dive straight in with the questions. 

1. Do you still talk to your first love?

No. I had a pretty long crush on a guy I went to school with and we're friends on Facebook, but I haven't spoken to him in years. To be completely honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he's currently in prison, he went a bit down hill after school. 

2. What was your first alcoholic drink?

We always had Bucks Fizz at Christmas which, if you don't know what that is, is champagne and orange juice. I do remember my mum buying me alcopops when I was about 12, I'm pretty sure I got more hyper then drunk seeing as they were pure sugar. 

3. What was your first job?

My first job was working in the Cafe in Debenhams. I started working there when I was 16, I had just left school and needed some money so I started as a weekend Food Services Advisor, or in other terms, a waitress. 

4. What was your first car?

Well I passed my test when I was 18 and couldn't afford my own car so I would drive my dad's 2009 Ford Fiesta. I hated it. I still don't own my own car because there's no where for me to park it at my uni halls. 

5. Who was the first person to text you today?

That was my friend Josh!

6. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?

Tom Hiddleston because I had a dream about him, he was trying to put a yogurt into his inside suit jacket pocket. 

7. Who was your first teacher at school?

That would be the wonderful Mrs Dawson. She used to wear a thick layer of makeup and always had bright pink lips, she also taught my older brother and sister so would always call me Claire (my sister's name). 

8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?

I'm pretty sure we went on a family holiday to Majorca or Menorca I can never remember which one. I just remember falling in the pool without my arm bands on and a strange man had to save me from drowning. 

9. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?

I had two first best friends, one was Sarah McVeigh and yes we still talk over Facebook occasionally, but we don't really see much of each other anymore. And the other was Hannah Sherratt and we still talk and try and meet up whenever I'm home from uni, we've now been friends for nearly 19 years, dear lord I'm old. Also I would just like to say a big congratulations to Sarah who is expecting her first baby! All together, awwwwww.

10. Where was your first sleepover?

I'm pretty sure it was at my cousins house in Liverpool, does that count if it's family? If not then I think it was at Sarah's house for her birthday, I ate so much pizza I had to go home at like 2am because I felt sick. 

11. What was the first thing you did this morning?

I checked all my social media things, I always have my phone by my bed so I know what time it is and it's the first thing I check in the morning. 

12. What was the first concert you ever went to?

It was Justin Timberlake in Manchester when he was touring his Justified album. He had a very high pitched voice. 

13. What was your first broken bone?  

Touch wood I've never had one. Well I say that but I'm pretty sure I fractured my foot when I was unfolding one of those big retail cages in work and I dropped the base on my foot. I probably should have gone to A&E but I didn't. 

14. What was your first piercing? 

I had my lobes pierced when I was about 10, I nearly fainted but it didn't even hurt that much. 

15. What was the first foreign country you went to?

Like I said before it was either Majorca or Menorca. I have a feeling it was Menorca. 

16. What was the first movie you remember seeing?

One from back in the day, All Dogs Go To Heaven comes to mind. 

17. When was your first detention?

When I got to high school I got detention for having my earrings in, I had just had my lobes pierced for the second time and I couldn't take them out and I got shouted at. I hated my school. 

18. Who was your first roommate?

We don't share bedrooms in the UK but my first flatmate that I met was Owen Broom, I used to give him a hard time for leaving the kitchen messy but I loved him really haha.

19. What was the first sport you were involved in? 

I had a very very short stint as part of my primary school's football team. Very very short. 

20. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Turn my laptop on and check Facebook and Tumblr, I have a problem I know. 

21. When was your first kiss?

I can't remember how old I was but I was drinking cider and we shall leave it at that. 

I'm not going to TAG anyone specifically because I have no idea who to TAG so instead I TAG YOU! Yes you reading this right now.

Finding Positivity ☮

 (Image sourced from Google Images)

We all have those moments of hopelessness, maybe something isn't quite going your way or maybe your just having a 'low moment'. Recently I've been having a lot of 'low moments', in fact it's just one 'low moment' after another. It's only recently that I've decided that the only person that can help me is me.

I went to the library to find some books to help me out of my rut, but the majority of the books on social sciences are unbelievably long winded and boring. So I turned to the wonderful resource that is the internet! It's amazing how much information is crammed onto the world wide web, and all it takes is that one splinter of the right info to spark something great inside you. For me, it was Kid President. 

If you don't know who Kid President is, I suggest you get yourself to YouTube and be prepared to be inspired. There is something about hearing life being put into perspective by a 9 year old that really makes you sit down and listen. Kid President teaches us that we should be the best people we can be, to be loving, positive and most of all, enjoy life! He has a valid point, we are put on this world to be awesome and the only person that can make you awesome, is you. 

Apart from listening to the wisdom that is Kid president, I also started writing in a journal. I like to write down any quotes, poems or general day to day notes that really inspire me to be more positive. It's not just a diary, it's like a photo album, you can get it out and look back over the things that have moved you and feel those feelings again when you need them the most. Try writing down at least one good thing that has happened to you that day, something that you saw or heard that made you feel good about the world. It could even be something as small as 'hey, my hair looked pretty good today'.

So let's all take a leaf out of Kid President's book and focus on the good things in life, treat the people around you with love and respect. And most of all, be awesome. 

Tumblr Addiction

First of all, sorry for being MIA this past week! I had a little trip back home for my Grandmother's 80th birthday meal over the weekend and had to leave my laptop in Cardiff. We are now reunited and I thought I'd post a pretty easy going Sunday post. 

I've really been getting into Photoshop these past weeks and teaching myself how to make GIF's and edit photographs more creatively. The perfect place to display said Photoshop creations, is of course the magical world of Tumblr. Tumblr has many purposes, not just to be home to every fandom ever created, but to show the world amazing art, photography, fashion and so much more!

I feel like it's the most creative of all the social medias, it's a bit like an online creative arts festival. There's also an amazing community of people over there, people who appreciate peoples creativity and passion. My Tumblr is a bit more personal than this blog, I tend to reblog and post art and photography more than anything else, but it's mostly just images I find inspirational. There is of course the odd funny post to make you laugh out loud. 

So if you're not already, head on over to Tumblr and start... Tumblring? Is that the correct word? 

Do you have a Tumblr? Let me know what your username is and have a little click on that "t" button over on the sidebar to check out my page! 

MIA, But Not For Long

I haven't done a blog post since Saturday but it feels like forever! So I thought I'd let you guys know what has been happening and also why there won't be a tutorial tomorrow for my usual 'Tutorial Tuesday'.

So living in my teeny house up here in the North-West is me, my dad and my older sister. Finally after nearly 20 years my sister moved out into her own little flat. Since Friday we have been helping her pack and move and trust me, there was A LOT of stuff to shift. The woman had hoarded some major useless junk over the years. Many bin bags and moving van trips later she was gone (well almost, there's still empty boxes to be thrown away haha). 

Yes I suppose I'm a little sad she has gone, but one of the positives is that I can finally have her room! I'm the youngest of 3, my brother being in the middle, and if you are also the youngest you will know we always get the short straw when it comes to bedrooms. I started off in the very very tiny box room, then my brother moved out and I got his slightly bigger (but not by much) room.

Finally I can have a reasonable sized room! I can finally have a wardrobe in my bedroom instead of the box room! 

It already has a mint green coloured carpet which I'm going to keep, but the walls need painting. I decided on a white colour to brighten it up a bit, with it being a garage conversion it is a wee bit dark. 

I don't know how long I'll be living with my dad for after I graduate, but I am excited to start decorating my new room!

But because I have bee so super busy, and I'm out alllllll day tomorrow shopping and working a late shift, I won't have time to film. I need a few days break to just chill and relax. I'll still be blogging though, when I can so don't give up on me just yet ;P

How did you feel when your siblings moved out? Where you like me and always get the teeny tiny bedrooms?

Good Day Gone Bad

So I thought I’d do a quick life update for you. I haven’t done much lifey style posts on here yet. It’s something I want to do more of. And I think the way my day was yesterday and looks to be again today, I’ve got a lot to moan talk about.

So on Thursday (today being Saturday) I had such a fun day, just one of those days that make you feel good about life. I had a meeting in Uni to discuss what modules to take in my final year and much to my surprise, there were a few on the list that I actually liked! Compared to last year when I came out of a similar meeting and said ‘there is nothing on that list I want to do’. So the day started off really good! Feeling good about my final year, which I didn’t expect, and then to make the day even better I headed to Ed’s Easy Diner with some friends.

If you don’t know what Ed’s Easy Diner is, it’s a 50’s American style restaurant that does the BEST milkshakes ever! One of the things I love about Ed’s food, is that the burgers don’t feel greasy, they actually feel fresh and good for you (they’re probably not that good for you though) So I had a tasty chicken burger and went a bit adventurous and had a peanut butter milkshake. It was hands down the best liquidy goodness I have ever drank in my entire life.

Then after we had devoured our tasty meal, we went shopping! I obviously ended up in Debenhams, which was not so great for my bank balance. I did however manage to finally get a gorgeous YSL Lipstick in Coral Intuitive. I blame Sprinkleofglitter for this purchase, as I saw it on her blog and just couldn’t help myself.

I also got the Illamasqua powder blush in Nymph, which is such a pretty cool pink. Illamasqua powder blushes are my all time favourite high-end blushes, I nearly bought two but resisted.

And then the day only got better. I managed to fit in another Uni lecture before going home, re doing my makeup and then heading out to go and watch Iron Man 3! I forgot just how beautiful Robert Downey Jr actually is. I’m not going to lie, I swooned a bit when he came on screen. The film was AMAZING! So funny and a much better story than Iron Man 2, so I was a very happy girl.

This however, is where it all goes downhill. After getting home from my Downey Jr swooning sesh, I decided I’d get in a quick workout before bed. I regret this decision greatly. Now not long ago I pulled my shoulder (what I thought was my shoulder) and I’ve had problems with it ever since. I was happily doing my Jillian Michaels DVD when I felt a twinge right under my shoulder blade. I stopped immediately, knowing how painful it could get. I sat down and then when I got back up I could feel the full extent of the damage. It was excruciating! I quickly realized that it wasn’t my shoulder that was the problem, it was in fact my ribs. Now I’m not a doctor, but the only thing I could think of is that I had pulled the intercostal muscles in my right side. These are the muscles between the ribs and apparently can be very very painful if they are pulled. I can vouch for the pain.

Usually I can sleep it off, but the next day I could hardly move. I spent the whole day sat in the chair downing Ibroprufen every 4 hours and trying to keep perfectly still. Safe to say it started to get a lot better by the end of the day, and by bed time I could lie down without being in too much pain. I think I went to sleep about 8:30pm and woke up at 6am this morning. A sleep well needed.

So today I’m just going to do the same again, rest and medication. I’ve got a ridiculous amount of coursework to do, so maybe it’s a good thing I’m a prisoner in my own flat. I do however desperately need food as yesterday was shopping day and I couldn’t go. But do not fear I won’t starve, my dad bought me about 3 months worth of frozen chicken before he went back home.